Well, we have TAD (set just after the War of the Rings) and we now have the spoof-turned-sequel TADers (set 6,000 years later in 2004) but what were they doing all that time in between?
Here are some suggestions, none of which should be taken too seriously.
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Author: Nenya
Somewhere over Roswell, 1947...
"Celegorm's gonna do his nut when he finds out we've nicked this thing," Tuore sniggered.
"Meh. Serves him right for being so up himself," answered Phillandir, taking another swig from his hip-flask. "Did you see him tonight? He was all over Galadriel... Celeborn looked less than impressed."
"Yeah, well, that goes back several millenia... you should know that!"
"True."
"Wonder what this button does?"
"Don't touch tha-AAAAAARGH!"
The observation balloon, cunningly disguised as a US weather-balloon, suddenly lurged upwards with an alarming farting sound. It then sped forward at a terrifying speed, looping in circles and spiralling downwards even as the balloon rapidly deflated.
Tuore and Phillandir clung to each other, screaming all the way down.
Thankfully they had had enough to drink that they did little damage to themselves beyond a few scratches when they hit the desert floor. They lay for a moment surrounded by broken bits of balsa wood, bits of mangled mithril and steel. The lamp had been smashed to smithereens, the candle having ignited the last of the gas that had inflated the balloon, meaning the pair had lost most of their hair in the small explosion.
Tuore clutched his head and groaned, willing the desert sky to stop spinning.
Swearing erupted from underneath a pile of wood. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT, YOU BLOODY FOOL!"
"WASN'T MY IDEA TO STEAL THIS SODDING THING! SHOULD HAVE KNOWN CELEGORM HADN'T TESTED IT PROPERLY!"
The loud farting noise and strange, swirling light in the sky had not gone unnoticed by the locals. Ron Fillbert had been nearby and now quickly climbed a hill behind which the thing seemed to have been aiming for. He was sure he had heard a crash. He crawled along the dusty ground as he neared the summit, before slowing looking over a large rock in front of him.
Two tall, faintly glowing beings with bald heads and pointy ears were talking animatedly, waving their arms and gesticulating wildly at each other. What language they were using he had no idea... it was like nothing he had ever heard before.
He slunk back behind the rock, his heart beating faster than he had ever known it to before. "Goddamn! Aliens! It's a damn invasion!" He sneaked another look.
Phillandir was trying to strangle Tuore while using some of his best Sindarin expletives. Tuore was giving back as good, trying to kick Phillandir in the shins while questioning his birthright and parentage in quality Quenya.
Ron fled.
The major had seen it also. It had been spotted on the radar and full alert had been sounded.
Tuore and Phillandir, too busy arguing with each other in a champagne-induced blur, were taken completely by surprise.
By the time Ron had brought back his friends and neighbours to the sight, Tuore, Phillandir and the remains of Celegorm's observation balloon were gone.
Thus, a legend was born.
"DO YOU TWO HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU HAVE CAUSED?!"
Tuore had never seen Elrond that particular shade of puce before. Phillandir was trying to look as small as possible... no mean feat for an ellon who is six foot six.
It had taken a small force of ten or so to get them out of Area 51. The army had been taken completely by surprised and were not a little alarmed to faced with yet more tall, faintly glowing, pointy eared beings who had guns and were clearly prepared to use them.
Thus the Alien files currently held in the top echelons of the CIA were begun.
Tuore and Phillandir had a lot to answer for. Though, they always blamed it on the punch at Elronds summer party (It was spiked! Had to be! I dont get that drunk normally! What? Why are you all looking at me like that and sniggering? Oh, shut UP!) or else Celegorm being a git and asking for it (I mean, come ON! It was just sitting there, not being used... and it was fun... while it lasted...!)
Elrond still sent them on a particularly boring desk-job mission in Antarctica for two decades...
'The Approaching Darkness' at Brothers In Arms.
Playboy billionaire elves, four bewildered changelings, the last Dunedan (with an attitude to match), the CIA, a traitor and more comedy and angst than you could throw a stick at? It's the sequel! 6,000 years later and they're still just as bad as they ever were... particularly when drunk... and especially if Ecthelion's involved: TADers
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